Amanda Moschella volunteers at the Spanish Village Art Center in Balboa Park. She often came to the village with her dog, Shilo.
“She just celebrated her 16th birthday in March and she was a warrior,” Moschella said. “Everyone who knew her knew whatever battle she was kind of given.”
Moschella said Shilo's life expectancy was six years. Shilo was also diagnosed with cancer, survived kidney failure and recovered from various surgeries.
Moschella said Shilo's visits to Spanish Village were one of the main things that kept her going, especially when she got to visit Daniel’s Coffee.
“We always walked with her here on the weekends and she would get a treat from them,” Moschella said. “So, I feel like it was her motivation to keep walking through her injuries and her health.”
Shilo died of kidney disease at the end of June. Moschella wanted to find a way to honor her.
With permission from Spanish Village, she created a garden with a plaque honoring Shilo.
“I think when we planted the garden, it was a really great way for us to be in nature and decompress after a workday,” Moschella said. “When we heard that Daniel’s wanted to repaint their tiles, I don't think they really thought we were serious when we wanted to help them.”
But Moschella was serious. She and some friends began painting the tiles around the coffee cart.
Moschella said the work gave them a place to grieve. “It was a safe space for us if we needed to cry or talk about Shilo which kind of felt a little hard to do out in public or during your everyday work life.”
Azmaira Maker is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Aspiring Families, a mental health and wellness center in San Diego. The center offers expressive arts therapy, which uses creative activities as part of the therapeutic process.
Maker said expressive arts therapy, like painting, lets people convey what they can't say out loud in traditional therapy. “It's internally self-empowering. It's not somebody telling you what to do or making recommendations. You pick the material, you pick the design, you pick how you want to express it.”
Maker said having that flexibility and support from others is important when processing grief.
“You're not isolated, you're not suffering alone and in silence. I think that's why I think it can be so powerful and so effective,” Maker said.
Soon after finishing the area around Daniel’s Coffee, Moschella said Spanish Village asked her to paint more of its tiles, and she agreed.
Knowing she needed more people, she posted on Instagram inviting others to paint and grieve. She was only expecting interest from her friends.
“We wound up receiving over 100,000 views on the video that we posted to invite people who are processing grief to have a space to put that grief,” Moschella said, “and I was floored with how many responses we received.”
Through this process, Moschella met other people processing pet grief, including Winnie Leung, who is also a volunteer.
“My dog, Unagi, who passed away a couple months ago, me and him used to come here all the time,” Leung said. “It just brought a lot of really joyful memories for us. And so when I saw it as an opportunity to really give back to this place, I couldn't pass up on that chance.”
Leung didn't have any connection to Shilo, or so she thought.
“And coincidentally, I found a photo where Shilo appeared in the background and I sent it to Amanda and I was like, is this Shilo? And she said, yes, it's Shilo.”
Leung said it felt like it was meant to be.
“Now I look at this place so differently. It's not just a colorful artistic village, it's now built from a lot of people collectively coming together, sharing their pain and channeling in a way just to really beautify a very meaningful place.”
At the event, Leung used the color red because of Unagi's red hair. She got permission from Daniel’s Coffee to paint the tile where Unagi would wait for a treat.
Moschella said she hopes to continue holding events like this to give people a space to process loss.
“We've noticed that you don't necessarily have to move on and figure out how to move on,” Moschella said. “Sometimes you just need to find somewhere to put that grief and for me that was the Spanish Village and picking up a paintbrush.”
